Can't Live a Lie
by ofclubslutsandseaotters
Summary: Sara is fed up but can she bring herself to do something about it? GSR, sorta. It's my first CSI fic so DON'T GO EASY ON ME. I need to improve, just don't know on what.


Sara Sidle sat on the edge of her bet on the verge of tears. She had been dating Gil Grissom for about a year and a half now and all they actually had to show for their relationship was that her stuff was at his house. It seemed that they didn't even have a connection anymore, not that there was much to begin with but she had thought that if they tried a bit, they're 'thing' would flourish into that relationship she had always wanted with him. But, alas, Grissom has continued to be engrossed in his work and usually didn't even remember that he had a girlfriend that always wanted to be more.

_Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you  
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier  
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange  
But I can't watch you walk away _

She has spent the last week preparing for this night, their one year anniversary but at this moment, that didn't matter. Grissom had completely forgotten that today was such an important day for them and had when straight to bed after 'a really hard day at work'. She had shed one tear before walls went up again and she tossed all the food she'd spent weeks learning how to cook from her fellow CSI and best friend Nick into the trash before heading to the bathroom to take a shower before bed.__

_Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?  
And all about the good times that we've been through  
Could I wake up without you every day?  
Would I let you walk away? _

She had gotten into bed next to Grissom and in his half asleep mode, had slipped an arm around her waist, kissed her neck and whispered "g'night". How could he forget, did he even care about her? __

_No, I can't learn to live without  
And I can't give up on us now_

Oh, I know I could say were through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie 

Grissom arm stayed protectively around her waist most of the time when they slept in the same bed which to Sara seemed like a sign that he did acknowledge the fact she was there, even if it was only subconsciously.__

_Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?  
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy  
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe  
The way you know just what I mean_

No, I can't learn to live without   
Ohh, so don't you give up on us now 

Sure, the past few months had been hard to deal with. She never saw Grissom outside of work unless they were driving home together which never happened because Grissom himself had moved her to days so their 'relationship' would not get in the way of their work. Like it ever could, thought Sara. But she couldn't stop thinking about him, ever. And bad thoughts about him may cross her mind at times but they never stayed for long.__

_Ohh, I know I could say were through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie_

Ohh, and I don't wanna try 

She had thought about breaking it off with him a couple of times and tonight, that though wouldn't leave her head but she couldn't get her body to move. To pack. To leave. She couldn't forget that this was the Grissom she had chased after for years. Since graduate school at Berkeley she'd had a thing for Grissom but it had taken a gun in her face as well was Nick getting kidnapped to show her that life was too short to keep her feelings about Grissom a secret.__

_Ohhhh, I know I could say were through  
And tell myself I'm over you   
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie_

I just can't live a lie 

She climbed back into bed and felt his protective arm move back into place as she drifted into sleep. No, she wouldn't be able to sleep without him there, she had spent to long going after time to give up on them now. She just knew she couldn't live without him no matter how hard she tired. She would have teach him what a real relationship is supposed to be like, she could make him her next project but she couldn't give up on them because then she'd have to live a lie.__

_But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I fail cause I, I just can't live a lie_

Oh, I cant live a lie

_Oh, I cant live a lie._

Hey, thanks mucho for reading! The song is I Just Can't Live a Lie by Carrie Underwood, I love this song! I like most of her songs actually._  
_


End file.
